Go Me!

I'm going to take the time now to praise myself. I definitely don't do that enough - I've worked very hard and I deserve it.

• After being sick for a week and falling off the wagon, I lost my will to exercise and gained two pounds. This morning I saw that I lost those two pounds again....GO ME!
• I put in a full workout last night and felt completely wonderful...GO ME!
• My eating is on track and I enjoy what I'm eating...GO ME!
• I have a whole new group of friends and supporters - Whitney, Traci, Jalaine, and all my fellow challenge participants. We don't let anyone stumble without helping them to get back up...GO US!!
• My husband is now changing how he eats and is working out regularly (sometimes with me) and we are getting healthy together...GO US!
• I have recognized the health risks in my life and the dangers I was facing with my "old" lifestyle. No longer will I be blind and think I still have the health of a 20-year old. I love living and I'm not going to take it for granted any more...GO ME!
• My "diet" buddies at work - Brenda and Tami - listen to my ups and downs and know my actual weight without looking totally shocked. They constantly help me to feel good about myself, how I look, and the efforts I'm making...GO ME (for having great friends)!

That felt good! I'm so hard on myself and tend to see those little bumps in the road as absolute failures. You can't imagine how big of a thing it is that I didn't let this latest bump be the end of my challenge. GO ME!!!

A Little Better

I woke up early yesterday morning so I could get a cardio workout in before work and I'm glad I did. I was a little disappointed to have gained back two pounds of what I had lost, but I can't let that distract me. My friends are giving me encouragement and I wasn't the only one who stumbled this last week. The nice thing about making this kind of effort with friends is that we can all pick each other up and push each other in the right direction. This morning I took my dogs for a walk before I got ready for work. They loved it and I feel like it's going to set a good tone for my day today. Time to take on those extra pounds!!

Messed Up

I feel really awful. I can't seem to get back on track and my cough still won't go away. My workouts have been short, when I bother to work out at all. I let myself get so upset that I ate a bunch of ice cream. This is so frustrating! This is how I usually go astray when I'm trying to lose weight and once I lose my momentum, I never seem to be able to get going again. When I tried to meet our group yesterday at the park, there was an event going on and I couldn't find Traci. I can't believe I let that mess up my day. I'm trying really hard to do better today and so far, so good. I'm dreading getting on the scale tomorrow.

Off Track Again

Being sick has really thrown me off. I can't do much without coughing like crazy. I need to get exercising again. It feels like I haven't exercised in months now. I'm going to try getting back on track tomorrow...

Dealing with illness

I've come down with a sinus infection and it has thrown me off completely. Eating isn't really a problem since I don't feel like eating much, but I don't feel up to exercising. My muscles hurt like crazy from all the coughing, so maybe I'm getting some exercise out of it after all. The biggest thing I learned was that many cold medications raise your blood pressure. I never paid attention to that before since I never knew I had a blood pressure problem before this challenge.

Stress Eating

One of my bigger problems has always been that I eat when I'm stressed/emotional. The more stressed I am, the more I eat. That includes when I'm stressed out about my weight. Here is my mental conversation:
"Ugh! How did I get so heavy? My clothes barely fit. I'll never be able to lose this much weight. Five or ten pounds wouldn't be hard to lose, but I need to lose 100 pounds. I'll never make it! Why do I even bother? I feel so awful and depressed. Maybe some chocolate ice cream will make me feel better."
Then I eat half a carton of ice cream. Pretty stupid, but that's how I was handling things. Lately I've been pretty stressed out and wanting to stuff my face with donuts, chocolate, ice cream, etc. I even walk into the store intending to buy something to drown my sorrows with. The difference now is that I haven't demonized the food - no food is evil - so it doesn't quite have the allure it once did. Even though I walk in intending to buy a donut, after looking at my choices I just don't feel like getting one. It doesn't seem worth jeopardizing my hard work for it and I know that if I really want a taste of it, I can still have it. This is very new for me and I'm pleased I haven't ended up sabotaging myself.

Hubby's on board now

My husband has been relatively supportive throughout this challenge, but there have been times where I felt like he and our kids were sabotaging me. Bringing home donuts, pizza, etc...

We made a few radical changes about 16 years ago when he was diagnosed with diabetes. That was hard for me because I'm not a good cook and the only things I did seem to enjoy making were breads and desserts -- forbidden items. We changed over to Diet Coke at that time and tried to eat better. The hubby got bored with the chicken and vegetables and I ended up reverting to the same old stuff I used to cook. He seems to have renewed interest now in getting himself into better shape. It's nice going to the gym together and he's handling the eating changes better so far. He's seeing a trainer at the gym and getting some great advice. I just hope I can keep up with him now!

Bad Choice

I attended a funeral this morning and severely underestimated how long I would be out of the office and was unprepared for the hunger that arrived during that time. I was traveling with a group of coworkers and they chose to stop at a drive-in burger joint before returning to work. I was starving and couldn't find any reasonable choices on the menu. Almost everything there was fried in some or another. I finally chose to order a small cheeseburger, thinking it couldn't be too bad if I play it safe the rest of the day. One of my coworkers was much smarter and chose to wait until she got back to the office since she had food there to eat. The burger was delicious, but I realized just how bad that choice was about the time I arrived home from work. My insides were cramping and it felt like my entire intestine was trying to leave my body. Several hours of agony followed. Eating a greasy meal after limited fat so much for so long leads to some big intestinal problems. Lesson learned!!

Dog Walking

Today was a beautiful, sunny Easter Sunday and I was happy to take my beagles for a walk. It wasn't until I was almost home that I realized how quickly the time had gone and that I wasn't hurting or tired. I used to start hurting after only about two blocks of walking them. I must have kept a pretty good pace too, because they were totally worn out when we got home. It's nice to know that my improved health is a benefit to my "babies" as well. Now that I think of it, I'm really good at making sure they only eat a certain amount of food (beagles are notorious for eating whatever they can get to) and getting them the exercise they need. It's about timee I did that for myself. :-)

Carrots at the Jazz Game

We went to tonight's Utah Jazz game and I was worried that I would get hungry and eat something stupid from the concession stand. When we were getting ready to go, I packed some low calorie multigrain crackers and some baby carrots in my purse so I would have something to eat. There are signs outside Energy Solutions Arena that warn you that purses and bags will be searched and one of the things you're not supposed to bring in is food. When the security guy looked inside my purse, he smiled as he saw the carrots and said, "Now don't eat all those carrots yourself." The carrots and the crackers got me through the game and I was so proud of myself for being prepared.

Down in the Dumps

Normally I am pretty excited about my workouts at the gym (with the exception of that first week). I love goofing around with Whitney and the challenge of pushing myself. On Thursday, I found myself feeling extremely low and almost ill when I showed up to work out. Feeling that way sure takes its toll on you! Every minute was excruciatingly long and I almost felt worse with every step on the elliptical instead of better. Whitney kept encouraging me, but I wasn't much fun to be with. I'm just glad I didn't make excuses to skip working out. I can't let myself allow moods to knock me off track. My progress may be slow, but it's still progress!

Fun at the Gym

I never thought I'd be able to say I had fun at the gym, but that was before I met Whitney, my trainer. She always comes into the gym dancing, singing, and full of smiles. You can't help but laugh at her goofiness. She and her fiance, Kevin, joke around and tease you to push harder even when you're pedaling the exercise bike as fast as you can. I had a pleasant surprise today when Lynda showed up and we got to work out together. Whitney, Kevin, Lynda, and I were all on the exercise bikes and pushing each other along. After our cardio workout was done, Whitney showed us a tough balance ball exercise. It was the hardest exercise I've tried on the ball! It took great balance and coordination, things I'm not usually known for. I struggled a bunch with some feeble attempts to not fall over. Lynda took a turn and struggled just like I did. Whitney was helping by holding the ball steady, but she let go when Lynda started to get up. Lynda went tumbling and we couldn't help but laugh. That was the most fun I've ever had at the gym. Lynda and I both agreed that having Whitney there makes it so much easier to work out. I'm not looking forward to having this challenge end and losing Whitney.

Lovin' it!!

I was a little worried about not doing a formal workout session over the weekend, so I went into the gym early this morning. That's not exactly an easy thing since I have to get done in time to shower and get my son to school by 7:30. It was kind of fun to see the surprised look on Whitney's face when she saw me there. There were actually quite a few familiar faces at 6 am.

A friend of mine at work is working hard to get in better shape and was struggling with drinking enough water. I managed to get all my water in today and then some. I'm noticing that many things that used to seem so hard are not too bad now. Drinking water is actually nice. Figuring out food to eat isn't quite the challenge it used to be (except when my husband decides to go out for pizza). My workouts aren't easy, but I don't feel totally dead when I'm done. I leave the gym feeling absolutely exhilarated! As of this morning, I have lost 15 pounds on this challenge. It only seems like a dent in the 100 pounds I need to lose, but I can feel the difference in how my clothes feel and I can see it in my face. I'm loving the new me!!

Weekend fun

Today my husband and I went to the University of Utah powwow. It has been so long since we've gone to a powwow and I really miss the feeling I get there. My weight gain over the years has kept me from dancing since my outfits don't fit anymore. It was nice to hang out with my friends and, even though I don't have an outfit, I still went out and danced when I could. My stamina is much better and I hope it won't be too long before I can put on my buckskin dress again and dance with the other ladies.

Back on Track

I'm feeling pretty good tonight. I'm back on track with my eating and exercising again. I really didn't mess up while I was in New York - it was just different. It feels so good to get in a regular workout and I can tell my endurance has improved. I find it very comforting to get back to my regular food choices again. Not having my usual snack items handy was one of the tougher things about being away from home. If our schedule hadn't been so hectic, I probably would have picked up some basic items at a store, but I still feel like I did okay with the choices I made. I got to eat New York food and I kept myself to reasonable amounts. No regrets.

Biggest Loser

At work we are having our annual Biggest Loser contest. It started today and will run through Memorial Day. We get into teams of 4-5 people and the winners are determined by percentage of weight lost. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get people to understand why we do it that way. (If a 300 lb. person loses 10 lbs., it isn't much compared to if a 150 lb. person loses 10 lbs.) I've been involved with our Wellness Committee at work and have struggled with having everyone identify me with the Wellness Program when I look like I do. I'm not exactly the poster child for wellness. That's going to change! The thing I like about this contest is working with other people towards the same goal. We all check on each other and motivate each other. I should do better this year since I'm doing so much with the Heart Challenge. I've been trying to share the things I learn through the Heart Challenge with my coworkers so they can make improvements too. There's really no way to lose this contest if I make progress on my health.

New Friends

On my trip to New York, I gained some new friends in our group of chaperons. One of them, Max, had recently been able to lose 105 pounds. I never knew him before this trip, but he says he gets some interesting looks and comments from people who see him and are amazed at his weight loss. He has been able to do a lot with regular exercise and watching his portion sizes. It turns out that he works out at the Wellness Center too! I noticed that he kept to fruits, salads, and yogurt parfaits more than anything on this trip. He looks wonderful and seems to be in excellent condition. Although I didn't make as many wise food choices as he did, it was nice to have other people trying to eat healthy. I don't really feel guilty about what I ate on the trip since we walked a lot and we were pretty good about sharing food and avoiding snacking. The real beauty of what I have learned in our nutrition classes is that I'm not on a diet. I'm making wiser food choices and I'm being careful with my portion sizes and I can do that forever. This is not a "diet" that ends when I get to my desired weight. This is a change in how I live my life. Exercise has also become a very normal thing for me now. My husband even tries to park the car further away so we can get in a few more steps. I'm glad I don't have to feel like I'm denying myself anything. We learned in this morning's class about hunger cues and paying attention to whether we're truly hungry or we want food for emotional reasons. That will be one of the most helpful tools for me since I often eat because I'm bored, dehydrated, tired, sad, lonely, etc.